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personal development kenya

Understanding your Emotions

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Have you experienced some form of emotion that you are not sure what it means or how you even got there? This happens especially when we are dealing with an event in our life that leaves us in an unsure state. Once or twice you must have said; “I’m not sure how I feel”. On the other hand, there are times you have said, “I feel happy”, “I am passionate about this”, “I am bored”, “I hate this”, “I am depressed”. The latter shows you know how you feel which is a good thing.

What are emotions?

Emotions play a major role in our well being. They determine how we feel hence creating some balance in our lives. When you are experiencing negative emotions, your life is less aligned. When experiencing positive emotions, you are more aligned and in control of your life.

The emotional guidance scale

The emotional guidance scale shows how you can spiral from a happy emotion to a moment of depression unworthiness. This however does not happen at once; it is a process. Continue reading

women leadership in kenya

Are Women Leaders Expected to Behave in a Certain Way?

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I have watched the movie The Devil Wears Prada several times and of course read the book by Lauren Weisberger. I don’t watch it so many times for the fashion insights (as much as my fashionable side is really wanting), but because it is a great movie providing basis for discussing the topic of women and leadership. The movie revolves around Miranda, the CEO if a fictional Runway Magazine (there has been speculation that this character was based on Anna Wintour the editor-in-chief of Vogue), and a young assistant who is now at the job (Andy) who feels harassed while working under Miranda.

She’s such a terrible boss

It seems as if the main aim of the movie is to show how much of a terrible boss Miranda is; the movie title seems to tell it all. Miranda is tough and has extreme high standards and high expectations of her employees. She can be very bossy and domineering. On the other hand, Miranda has worked her way to the top of the chain and is very well respected by others in the fashion industry. They seek her advice and opinions and she acts as an influence to many young people in this industry. Continue reading

How to Make the Best of Your Low Moments

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We all experience some low moments at some point of our life. It may not be rock bottom, but you were feeling pretty low due to some event in your life.

Some causes of low moments are:

Joblessness

When you are jobless or in between jobs and you don’t feel so sure about where you’re headed. This comes with some anxiety, stress and uncertainties especially revolving around your finances. Joblessness can also cause you to experience low self worth. On the brighter side, it gives you some time to your hand. If you had saved enough to keep you going for a while, you can use the time you have to focus on something else.

A relationship break up/ divorce/ separation

Our relationships play a very important part in our lives. When they go wrong, our emotions are highly affected and we feel very low. As opposed to when you can pick up a bad habit when a relationship goes sour, you can pick up a good habit, which is even better. A breakup, gives you some more time in your hands. Continue reading

entrepreneurship vs employment

Entrepreneurship is not for Everyone, and Neither is Employment

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My good friend meant well by sharing my blog on Facebook and advising those who have entrepreneurial ambitions to follow the page. Though I appreciated her efforts, I saw the need to clarify that I do not blog for entrepreneurs only. I blog for all you who want to better their lives, make the best of your day, no matter what you do for a living.

It seems every blog one reads is about how to be an entrepreneur. Most feel that entrepreneurship is being pushed down their throats with every piece of advice they receive. Every life coach is showing you how to break from employment, and every book being written is how you can start your own business.

While some of this is great advice, we have to appreciate that entrepreneurship is not for everyone. While at it, we must acknowledge that neither is employment for everyone. There are those who thrive at employment and suck at being entrepreneurs, and vice versa. We must also stop acting as if one kind is more special than the other. Continue reading

Why you are Anxious and What to Do about It

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Do you sometimes get that anxious feeling even when you cannot trace its cause? Most of the anxiety feelings we have are caused by thoughts in our minds, which are sometimes just that, thoughts. We worry about things that have not happened, and may never happen.

Don’t get it wrong, anxiety is an important emotion in every human being. It warns us of impending danger and makes us careful. On the other hand, it is not healthy being anxious at all times. Anxiety can be caused by irrational thoughts, obsessive thoughts, fear, fatigue and uncertainties. Thoughts are termed as irrational if:

  • They are unfounded,
  • They get in your way and keep you from reaching your goals
  • They lead to self defeating or self depreciating behaviour,
  • They distort your reality, creating an nonexistent reality
  • They lead to unhealthy emotions, such as excessive anxiety.

Continue reading

Beyonce branding

Is Beyonce a Musical Genius or a Branding Genius?

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Branding lessons from Beyonce

Let’s face it, Beyonce is not the most talented soul out there (Sorry Beyhives), we have heard better talents, better vocals, better music and a lot more. But then again, look at her, she is Queen Bee. She is adored, her music is catchy, her albums are waited for and talked about for days, her dance routines are used as work-out motivators and much more. I was particularly pained when Adele won a Grammy award for her 25 Album and dedicated it to Beyonce, saying she deserved to win. I mean, why are we even putting Adele and Beyonce in the same sentence? Adele sings to my soul.

So what makes Beyonce, despite average talent, the Queen she is that is so desired and many want to be her? Branding! Beyonce is a branding genius. That is what she is, not a musical genius. Beyonce has branded herself into making us thinking she is the best, her fans, almost are convinced she is the best. Here are some branding lessons we can learn from her. Continue reading

leadership is influence

Leadership is all about Influence

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Unfortunately, as I had written before, most of us tend to think that leadership comes with a position. The only power that we have over those we lead is positional power. Because one is a manager or a supervisor, you quote comfortably; I am in a leadership position.

I have come to learn that leadership is all about influence. By influence, you have to make people to willingly follow you, even when you are not using power or rewards to gain this influence. John Maxwell suggests that, to find out if you are an influence, try leading a group of people in a voluntary program where there are no rewards at all and you cannot use positional power as well because the program is voluntary and you cannot fire them.

Leadership is therefore all about people, besides making money for the organization. As a great people leader, you have to learn to influence, motivate and inspire people to meet the set goals. When you are leading a demotivated and uninspired team, there is dormancy; people have to be pushed to work and as a result the entire work scene becomes like that of flogging a dead horse. Continue reading

leadership is action

Do you see Yourself as a Leader? No? This could be Why..

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Why most of us don’t see ourselves as leaders
John Maxwell noticed that when he announced free leadership training open for all, in organizations or universities, only a few people signed up for it. When he followed up, he found out that most peole did not view themselves as leaders and were quick to say, “ah, this training is not for me!”.
Unfortunately, this is the kind of mentality held by many people. Some do not think they can be leaders while others think that a leadership position is not something they want to be associated with. This is because of the picture painted by our community regarding leadership.
Here in Kenya especially, leadership has been mainly painted as political leadership, which is associated with lies, insults, lack of integrity and a lot of not so admirable traits. Besides those who are interested in political leadership, you’ll find a lot of people turning down any opportunity they are given to lead others, say in the work place unless it is an official appointment.
The one thing we forget about leadership is, you do not have to be in a position of power to be a leader. We tend to think that once you are appointed manager at your work place, where you have to make decisions, it is the only time you will be required to portray leadership skills. When you think about it, you are a leader in many ways than you can imagine; When your siblings come to you for advice, when you have kids and you want them to become sane humans in the future, when you are appointed the head of your chama, when you organize your friends for a social gathering or when you emerge as a group leader during a group discussion in schools or seminars; among others. Continue reading

urgent vs important

The Battle of the Urgent vs Important

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Most of us struggle in balancing the urgent with the important. The urgent is that which has a deadline, and you need to have it done to keep your job, or to keep that client. Urgent makes us feel very good about ourselves. We feel important, needed and very useful. We concentrate on the urgent, we give it our all.

Examples of urgent:

  • Answering emails
  • Working on a job that has a deadline
  • Attending meetings, even when they have no agenda
  • That which will make us look good to our superiors

It keeps us busy all day and at the end of the day we feel very good for getting it done, all the time, while important lies somewhere untouched.

What is important?

  • That personal project you’ve been meaning to start
  • That master’s thesis you’ve been intending to get ready for defense
  • That work project that was allocated to you, aside from your job description
  • That book you’ve been saying forever you’ll start writing
  • Updating that CV so you can start applying for new job
  • That proposal for a new client for your side hustle
  • That course you’ve been meaning to enroll for because it will boost your career

Continue reading

motivation kenya

Does Motivation Really Work?

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I love motivational quotes and stories. If you follow me on social media then you know that I’m big on sharing quotes that I’ve come across. There have been arguments on whether motivation actually works; be it intrinsic or extrinsic motivation. I like engaging in self motivating activities, anything that keeps my energy level up.

Let me ask you, how do you feel after making yourself pretty to attend a fun event? How do you feel when somebody compliments you? Great, right? The same way a compliment boosts your mood is the same way motivation works. While there have been arguments questioning the effect of motivation on performance, there have been theories to prove on the effects of motivation.

Before I get to it, I’d like you to take a while and think of some force you believe in. Say for example, religion, the universe and such. A religious person will tell you prayers work. A person who believes in the universal rule will tell you that it works; whatever signals you send to the universe you get back the same. We could spend hours arguing on what works and what does not, depending on what we believe in, but the bottom line is, these work because they believe in their power. Continue reading

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