Solitude? It’s good for you! Be alone but not lonely


solitude

 

We spend a lot of time around other people. As a result, we find ourselves behaving in a way that is acceptable to these people even when it doesn’t sit well with us. Sometimes, many of us don’t get to have some alone time, at all. This could be due to lifestyles, such as always having family around, or by choice. There are some of us who cannot stand to be alone at all. Reason? They don’t want to confront their inner self.

Give solitude a chance

However, taking time to be alone teaches you so much. You learn what you like and what you don’t like from your innermost self, without the influence of another person. There are also people who jump from one relationship to another, without taking the time to evaluate and understand why the past relationship did not work.

Taking some time alone after a relationship, or a job, gives you time to reach from within yourself. Why don’t you try taking some time, having weekends to yourself at home doing literally nothing, eating alone, taking a trip alone?

Solitude might give you all the right answers

Solitude is a great way to give some answers about issues you have been searching within yourself. (I like to call it and ‘eat, pray, love journey). The answers may not come to you instantly, it may take long to get the answers you are looking for. It could take even a year of solitude or more (I don’t mean you take a year and not talk to anyone, but aside from usual interactions, try to spend your spare time alone). But at the end of this period, you know yourself so well. You know what makes you happy, sad, what you like, what you don’t, what your heart craves for, what you did because others around you were doing it even if you did not have fun doing it.

Own your life

When you have learned this, then you have discovered the secret to happiness. Cliché much? Not really. Because happiness does not come from others, but from you. Knowing this, you know you owe yourself to be happy and that you will never depend on anyone to make you happy. This will make you reduce expectations from the people around you hoping that they make you happy, because you know how to do that yourself.

Enjoy your own company

Solitude teaches you to enjoy your own company. So much that when you allow someone else into your life, is because they don’t disturb your peace, but a little more fun than your solitude, and they will also allow you to have some alone time sometimes to get in touch with yourself.

For some, spending time alone is not easy. They say being alone makes them confront their demons. It’s true, sometimes when you are alone you start thinking about your failures, your wrong choices, your past hurt and heartbreaks. The truth is however, these things happened, and there is nothing you can do about them, and confronting them is how you learn to live with them and through them. Knowing and understanding their causes also helps you avoid them in the future. Sure, you will make mistakes here and there, but you will accept your mistakes with more grace.

Learn to be alone. Being alone does not mean you are lonely, it means you like your company well enough to keep it for a while.

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