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Why you are Anxious and What to Do about It

Do you sometimes get that anxious feeling even when you cannot trace its cause? Most of the anxiety feelings we have are caused by thoughts in our minds, which are sometimes just that, thoughts. We worry about things that have not happened, and may never happen.

Don’t get it wrong, anxiety is an important emotion in every human being. It warns us of impending danger and makes us careful. On the other hand, it is not healthy being anxious at all times. Anxiety can be caused by irrational thoughts, obsessive thoughts, fear, fatigue and uncertainties. Thoughts are termed as irrational if:

  • They are unfounded,
  • They get in your way and keep you from reaching your goals
  • They lead to self defeating or self depreciating behaviour,
  • They distort your reality, creating an nonexistent reality
  • They lead to unhealthy emotions, such as excessive anxiety.

Past experiences and negative beliefs can also make one be anxious about certain circumstances. For example, if you lost a job at one time, certain signs at the work place can make you think this is going to happen and you find yourself being anxious.

What to do about Anxiety

Cognitive behavioural therapy is used to help you to deal with anxiety. This therapy is based on the idea that how we think (cognition) and how we feel (emotions) and how we act (behaviour) all interacts together. Your thoughts determine your feelings and behaviour. Your thoughts are causing this anxious feeling that you experience.

This therapy is known as “talk therapy” that is used to teach, encourage, and support you about how to reduce or stop harmful thoughts and behaviour. It helps one out-think negative patterns that may be keeping you from depression recovery. Here are some self administered techniques you can use to deal with anxiety.

Locate the cause of anxiety

First, you need to take time and think of where the anxiety is coming from. The situations given above may help. Could it be from a past experience, obsessive thought or is there a genuine impending danger causing the anxiety? You may prefer to write a journal about your anxious episodes. Your journal should capture details such as;

  • What was I doing when I felt an anxiety attack?
  • What was I thinking about?
  • What triggered it?

A journal helps you track a pattern on the reasons for the anxiety and aid in finding a cause. Journaling and talking to the counsellor is one way to discover the root for depression. Another cause of anxiety leading to depression could be hopelessness, a belief that things won’t get better. Writing these things down can help ease depressive feelings. One may also write self statements to counter negative thoughts after identifying the root of the problem.

Thought stopping

Thought stopping is whereby you consciously issue the command, “STOP” when experiencing repeated, negative unnecessary or distorted thoughts. These thoughts are replaced with positive and realistic thoughts. The principle under which thought stopping works is by interrupting bothersome and unnecessary thoughts with a STOP command which acts as a reminder or distraction. When phobic and obsessive thoughts are repeated in an individual’s mind, they can become automatic and occur frequently. When using thought stopping, you become aware of unhealthy thoughts and divert attention.

Restructure your thoughts

This involves understanding unhappy feelings and moods and challenging the beliefs that lie behind these moods. You can use this to reframe unnecessary negative thinking that many people experience from time to time. Anxiety can be unpleasant and reduce the quality of your performance, undermining your relationship with others. This form of thought restructuring helps change the distorted thinking that lies behind the mood and make an approach of situations in a more positive frame of mind.

Learn how to say “NO”

This is a skill that has helped many who had destructive habits. By learning to say NO, for example, can be taught to drug addicts such that if they’re offered drugs they can be able to say no and avoid relapse. In an anxiety situation, learn to say no to situations that make you anxious. After learning this basic refusal skill, you should practice them often for the triggers of anxiety that you came up with in your journal.

Disputing irrational thoughts and beliefs

As mentioned earlier, one of the major causes of anxiety is having irrational thoughts. Constant irrational thoughts lead to irrational beliefs. For example, you have constant thoughts about not being able to do something, which leads to the belief that you are not good enough. A belief is therefore a thought with an emotional component (conviction) and factual component (truth). A belief can either be positive or negative, and sometimes the negative beliefs can be irrational which affect ones happiness and contentment. Irrational beliefs are such as absolution, demand for love and approval, demand for success and achievement, demand for comfort. When someone holds some of these beliefs, that can have low frustration tolerance, feel worthless, useless and awful. You can dispute irrational beliefs by asking questions such as: is there proof this belief is true? Is this belief helping me or making things worse for me? Is this belief logical and does it ring true to common sense?

Interpersonal discrimination exercise

This involves having a conversation within you, questioning some of the thoughts and beliefs that could be causing anxiety. Using your past experiences, in which you have done well, you can ask yourself, am I really this bad? Think about it, there are times you did something that you are proud of such as: helping out a friend, passing an interview or an exam, maintaining friendship and relationships with people.

It is important though to verify your thoughts and not categorize all of them as irrational. If your thoughts are logical and reasonable, you have all the right to be anxious and find a logical way to deal with the situation or seek help from a therapist. If on the other hand you are experiencing anxiety and have no idea on what to do about it, consult with a therapist to help you deal with it so you can live a fuller life.

Do you ever get anxious? What do you do about it? Feel free to share with us about your experiences below.




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